To Compete or Not to Compete- That is the question

IF you follow me on Facebook, you know that I have a passion for fitness competition. This was a dream of mine as I was on my own weight loss journey. I finally realized that dream last year. The feeling of standing on that stage and facing all those fears and knowing that I didn’t give up on that journey was an indescribable feeling. Competitions were planned and registered for the rest of the year and plans were made. Funny thing about plans. Life really loves to throw a monkey wrench in them.

Things kept coming up that just made it so difficult to compete.

 

Let’s flashback a few years. When I came out of my anorexia battle, one thing I obviously needed to look at was my nutrition. Anorexia loves to count calories.  To see how few calories can be consumed.  Nutrition doesn’t play a role.  So I determined that I would flip that around.  Calories wouldn’t play a role. If I was to eat a certain food that I was looking at, it needed to be able to answer ONE question.

“Are you good for me?”

That is all.

If the answer was “Yes, I am nutritious and provide all this wonderful nutrition for your body in the form of healthy fats, or protein, or healthy carbohydrates or WHATEVER”……. I was allowed to eat it. Calories be damned.

If the answer was “I regret to inform you that I am full of sugar and artificial ingredients with no nutritional value WHATSOEVER”……. I was not.

****Side note**** I didn’t ACTUALLY make the food talk to me like that. The food only needed to answer yes or no. I mean otherwise I would be crazy……****

 

So that is how I handled that period in my life with regards to food. I am finding myself in a very similar situation right now. With so much stress that happened last year and trying to currently get through my husband’s deployment….. I am finding myself in a predicament.

When you compete, you track your macros. Down to the grain of rice. That is how you achieve those amazing results. With unwavering dedication and math.

To not disappear down the dark rabbit hole of anorexia again to gain some sort of (albeit- imaginary) control over my life…….I am finding myself needing to go back to that simple question.

“Are you good for me?”

If that means I eat four avocados today with two kale protein smoothies…… then that is what it means. Did I go over my healthy fats for the day? Most likely. But were all those foods still good for me and doing good things for my body? Absolutely.

Am I hanging up my heels and sequin bikini? Absolutely not. I am however, giving myself permission to live, laugh, and LOVE each day so that I can get through until my husband comes home in the healthiest way possible for ME.

Will you join me on this adventure? Keep me company and high five me after I eat the fourth avocado? 😉

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